All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
cat food counts as protein by the way
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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