I love black thongs
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
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i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
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you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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