Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
