My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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