best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
