We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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