sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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