We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
