My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Are we still banned from the library?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
