i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
