i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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