i would punch a child for taco bell
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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