Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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