i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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