We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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