I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
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Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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