i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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