Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
