Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
