she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
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I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
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Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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