Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
