At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
