I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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