Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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