Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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