Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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