Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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