Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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