i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
