it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
