Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
