The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
