Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
