What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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