Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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