I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
