So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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