i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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