the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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