My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I know her cup size but not her name....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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