I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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