i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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