I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
