dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
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Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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