He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
