somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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