Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize