Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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