when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
