I'm laying in your front yard are you home
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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