his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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