so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize