Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
