nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
