they need to just BURY HIM!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
