you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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