If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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