Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
