I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
