Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
