i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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