If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
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Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
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I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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