He is such a slut. More and more my type.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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