Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
