never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
