Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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