Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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